Life Lessons

Inspiring People

So many people come and go in life that we rarely take time to consider the impact one person can leave on you. Everyone can probably name a teacher that lit their academic path -- maybe even a family member that provided motivation. But, I think it is all of the small encounters that make us who we are. It is the tiny things we take away from brief meetings that truly inspire us.

Whenever I think about people that have played significant roles in my lie, I find it hard to pinpoint what those folks have told me about life that I try to live by. A lot has to do with my poor memory (despite no drug use or repeated blows to the head, well maybe a few blows to the head). Most of it; however, can be traced back to emulating people’s actions more than thinking about those actions.

My grandfather, for instance, was a wonderful man -- kind and generous, soft spoken yet intimidating when needed and well respected. Did he ever give me words of wisdom, not that I can recall. I do, though, look at how he lived his life, wanting to follow similar characteristics. And of course, I had an encouraging seventh-grade English teacher who fostered my writing. Though I do not do it as a profession (at least not the way I had intended), it will always be one of my greatest passions.

What started me on this thought process of inspiring people was a simple gesture of gratitude by a former co-worker. As a wonderful surprise today, I received a gift at work. The random items, which gave me both a big laugh and feeling of warmth, reminded me of what a talented and dynamic woman our firm was loosing. She was smart and knew what was important in life. She kept a level and humorous head despite hairy and mind-boggling situations. She regularly demonstrated her appreciation of others through her words and gestures. Above all else, she balanced doing a great job at work with being a great mother and wife at home. These traits did not go unnoticed either. Several partners, including the department chair, begged for her to reconsider.

Granted, I only saw the sides of her that can be relayed via e-mail, phone and rare in-person meetings (she worked on the other side of the country). There may have been times where she ran around screaming her head off (which I do not doubt, because my current place of employment will illicit that behavior). But what I did see, I admired.

I hope that by taking the time to reflect on her commendable character, it will help me remember her. However, I know it will only prolong it a little at best. But what will stick with me is how my behavior and attitude changes because of knowing her. Maybe I will come home on time or a little early to see my family rather than get snippy with them when they are upset that I am still at work. If anything, I will smile whenever I use one of her great farewell gifts and hope that one day I leave as positive an impression on someone as she did.

TRAMPOLAND

I have always wanted a trampoline. Right before my husband proposed to me many years ago, he would joke that he had "something for me." Well, I would always guess a trampoline -- and I would be wrong. I also would guess an air hockey table, but that was wrong, too.

When I finally received my present, it was an engagement ring. A beautiful ring that I have treated with the utmost care. Though I love my ring, a part of me still wanted the trampoline (or the air hockey table).

Well, I do have an air hockey table now (7.5 years later), but do not have a trampoline. However, my best friend now does, so it is like I have one, too. When I went over to jump around, jump around jump up, jump up and get down, She was excited to say that they now have a "Trampoland." I, of course, laughed immediately because I totally knew where she was coming from with that joke.

In the good ol' days of SNL (1990s), they use to have this bits called Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. Those were the dumbest, yet funniest things ever. I still laugh at them, especially the Uncle Caveman one. Anyway, it dawned on me how many people would actually get the Trampoland joke. One of the things my husband hates about Patti and I is that we have this crazy sense of humor that only we connect on - basically we laugh at dumb things and remember those dumb things forever so that with one word we can quickly reference them and the humor they bring us.

So enjoy this blast from the past (wow, the 1990s are now the past).

"If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampoland, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seem to be getting out of control."

Quest for the Cup

It's a Hockey Night In Pittsburgh, well in a couple of days, right now it is in Ottawa. Watching game one of the Pittsburgh Penguins and Ottawa Senators series made me realize how much I missed hockey. I know, the lock out was two years ago. Where have I been?

Once you leave the fun-filled confines of college and have to face real responsibility in life, the things you love the most always seem to be pushed to the side. For me, one of those loves was hockey. It was not an immediate abandonment of my favorite sport, but that is when it started. It was actually halfway through the 2001-2002 season when I just stopped watching and following only minimally ( I remember only because that was the season Jaromir Jagr was traded to the Washington Capitols, which my heart broke).

I started following the greatest show on ice in 1986, two years after the Pens drafted Mario Lemieux. At that time I found myself "in love" with a boy in my class. And thinking rationally, I decided to like what he liked. Of the things he liked, I am so glad I picked hockey (God only knows where I might be right now had I selected another interest). So I set out to learn as much about the sport as I could, which was not an easy task during that pre-Internet, pre-TiVo time. I had to actually go the library and stay up late to watch games.

Though that boy never became the love of my life, I don't even think we ever kissed, hockey did become one of my strongest passions. No sport has such athleticism - every player puts himself out there. You rarely hear about NHLers getting arrested, abusing spouses, driving under the influence, possession of narcotics, etc. like you do in football and basketball. They are the most underpaid of professional athletes, but no matter their salary, everyone plays hard, all of the time. And the league takes action against brutal attacks quickly.

In my teen years, I became OCD over it. I remember waiting outside the locker room after games, when you were still able to do that, just to get next to Jagr. I once helped him brush snow off of his Camero when I was 16. I would steal rocks from the drive of Lemieux's Mt. Lebanon home. On several occasions, I faked Communication Club activities so that I could use a university vehicle and gas card to drive to the igloo for games.

Now, I am lucky if I can tell you what number graces Sidney Crosby's jersey (no. 87). Again, it is the stress of being an adult that has led me to this sad state. What is worse is that I did not start getting back into it sooner, rather I waited until the first round of the playoffs. I feel like a fair-weather fan, but I was there in the pre-Stanley Cup years cheering them even after a loss. Even if they get swept by the Senators (which I am hoping does not happen), I will make more of an effort to watch games and actually participate in an NHL fantasy league (I make that vow every fall, but never follow through). As well, I will push my husband to name our first son (if we ever have one) after Boston Bruins great Cam Neely. I don't think he will go for Jaromir.

Spring into Action

It's Spring! It is innate that our minds start wandering to all of the physical things we want to engage in once the birds start chirping and flowers start blooming. It makes sense only because Spring is a time of renewal and growth -- everything dead is alive now. The weather is starting to break and is more enjoyable to be outside (though with global warming, our winters are becoming less and less harsh).

Everyone and everything is awake and ready to be about. I was looking through the house the other day thinking about where I needed to get started with my Spring cleaning, since that is what you do this time of year -- the weather is nice so we stay indoors to clean the dust of off the walls despite the fact that we have been couped up inside all winter and more than ample time to clean.

But I guess that is what Spring does for us -- we decide to become active! As adults we clean, that is our activity. Now teenagers and young adults, their activity is to drink and party at the beach. Thinking about it, that is unfair. I was reading an article today about what Spring cleaning activities you should make sure you handle when it dawned on me that I should not be worried about the dust on the window ledge, but be concerned about giving myself a little R&R in the sun. However, if I showed up at a Daytona Beach or Cancun, or where every drunken teen/twenty something goes, I would look slightly out of place and be annoyed within the first 10 minutes. Let's face it, anyone under the age of 26 is down right irritating. What is worse is that I feel that way and am only in my early 30s.

As I get older, I continually notice how unfair life is - Spring Break is a prime example. When I was a an idiot college student, I never had the money to go away for Spring Break. Now as an adult, I have the funds but not the time (and would be out of place as I mentioned earlier). Instead of packing seven of my friends into a car that only seat four, I will make my Spring Cleaning list and forget about body shots. Hell, I'll probably forget about the Spring Cleaning list, too, and just clean out my liqueur cabinet holing any real Spring activity for another day.

American Idol, Nothing But Idle

Though not the most clever comment in history nor the first time it has been used, it is however extremely fitting. American Idol displays nothing but idle talent. The past two nights have highlighted contestants that exhibited no worth. It was nothing more than 4 hours of my life wasted. I cannot even compare that draining of the airways to bad karaoke because even that is entertaining (who doesn't LOVE to poke fun at a delusional drunk trying to disco as he barks out "Stayin' Alive").

Anyone is fair game to go home, and rightly so. I can name only 4 of the top 24 that I remotely care about advancing -- and that is more based on personality than on ability and showmanship (though for the most past, the four I am about to list can sing). Of course Chris Sligh is the only guy I will champion -- he picked a wonderful song and had great delivery. Though it could have been sung better, his curly locks and down with the man attitude make him a favorite.

Typically, I rarely cheer for the ladies. Most of the time they all look and sound alike and have nothing fresh to offer an already inundated music industry. Really, how many over make-upped skinny blondes are there with high pitched voices running a much in Hollywood. But since I have only selected one fellow to win, I there for an cheering on three of the girls -- mainly because they are different and seem fun.

My fav is Melinda Doolittle. Though it seems odd to call someone only a few years younger than me cute, she just plain is. Fortunately, she has the pipes; she just needs to add some more personality to her performance. Though I am obviously no expert, it is the standing in the shadows from her days as back-up vocals that she needs to over come. Next, I like Gina Glocksen. Not only is her name fun to say (gotta love alliteration) she is a different kind of gal -- sort of like Amy Lee from Evanescence but with humor. And last, LaKisha Jones. Obviously she can sign, but she is not a pretentious mother like Fantasia. Unlike the Season 3 winner, Jones does not seem like the type to exploit her baby girl for votes and to extend her 15 minutes of fame. Plus, Jones was the best dressed of the evening.

Because of the boring performances that polluted the T.V. for the past two nights, I do not think Idol will have a strong rating for tonight's show. I also think it is stupid to go up against My Name is Earl and The Office. I mean really.

Again, I am not overly impressed with Season 6 and long for my rockers of Seasons 4 and 5. I would take Constantine Maroulis anyday over this top 24. Heck, I'd even take Ace Young. Rather than watching Idol this year, maybe I should just listen to Chris Daughtry's album. It will be a bigger hit than the last three season winners albums combined!

How Do I Love Thee

Valentine's Day never meant that much to me until I met my husband. It is the only day of the year designed to make you feel like crap if you are alone. So typically being alone on this day, I really had nothing but disdain for the Hallmark Holiday.

But since today in the time of year for celebrating love, I started thinking about past Valentine's Days -- the good ones, well really, the only ones. I am not a good wife when it comes to being thoughtful and sentimental in the gift giving arena. My hubby, however, is awesome at it.

I think it may have been our second or third V-day together. As per usual, Donnie was up and out of the house before I had finished my shower. When it was my turn to walk out of the door, I notice a card and a small gift. If you remember from a previous blog, I have a pitiful memory and am shocked when I remember anything, let alone the tiniest of details.

Back to the story, that card and small gift kicked off a heart-filled treasure hunt. That first card gave me a clue leading to another card and present. And so on. My final riddle ended with Donnie at my office with a vase of roses and Sarris candy. That was one of the best days of my life. It was filled with adventure, suspense, love and presents - not meaningless, ridiculously expensive presents. The gifts were perfect for me. Mostly, they were fun, quirky, silly things that make me smile - gel pens with black Post-It Notes, candy, a Thomas Kincaid Mug and matching candle holder. I think there was more, but again, my memory sucks.

I still use that mug, and the vase the roses came in graces my desk waiting for surprise flower deliveries via my husband. Oh wait, I remember more -- there was a candy dish and matching glass picture frame, both of which I still have on my desk, too.

This trip down memory lane only benefits me. But, I think I could go the rest of my life having crappy Valentine's Days and keep that one particular celebration of that holiday as a guide by which to judge the day. One bad day usually can taint something special, no matter how many good things happen thereafter. It is usually bad events that stick in our minds. It is nice to know that there are days you can feel so loved that no matter what may come, that day will be the lasting memory; the one associated with that special day for years to come.

Reputation not Indicative of a Place

Wheeling is known as the Friendly City. Why, probably some mayor back in the 1960s paid a marketing buddy of his good money to create a catchy slogan to attract tourism. However, I have found that even those places considered the not-so-friendly can be far more amiable.

During a recent trip to the Big Apple (so recent it was Tuesday), I lost my cell phone in a taxi cab. By the time I realized it was missing, that cabbie probably was on his fourth or fifth rider. Screw it, what could I do. My only concern was for all of the contract information lost. I, like many, many others, use my cell as my phone book. Without it, I know no one's phone number. It is a sad and lazy fact about the current nature of our world - no one memorizes phone numbers anymore.

In what can only be considered a shocker, a college-aged girl calls my home from my phone to let me know she found it in a cab. After a few calls back and forth, she asks me to texted her my address so she can mail it back. I offered to send her money, but she declined. What a wonderful gesture on her part. She took the time to not only locate the phone's owner, but is returning it at her own expense. It made me feel good.

A little less than a year ago, I lost my cell phone while moving items for a relative into a storage facility. The phone slipped out onto the gravel lot, and I never noticed until several miles down the road. Upon returning to the scene, my phone was no where to be found. A little later, I had the bright idea to call my phone and see if anyone answers. Well, someone did. The sleaze had the audacity to ask me if he would be compensated for finding my phone. Which by the way, I would have found myself at the storage place had he just left it alone. After meeting the ass at a bar to retrieve it, I gave him $1o.

So I guess this is just one example of how a reputation is not always a good indicator of the type of people that inhabit an area. And, if you ever find a cell that does not belong to you, please return to the owner free of charge. Like the girl from New york told me on the phone, you never know what might come back around to you later in life.

Snow Daze

This morning slightly more than a dusting blanketed the sidewalks and streets. With a little huff and puff, you could blow the snow off of your windshield to clear it. Yet last night around 9 p.m., schools were announcing two-hour delays. It wasn't even snowing.

As a child, we rarely had snow cancellations or two-hour delays. We would have had to have a blizzard for the notion to even pop into the superintendent's mind. Today, and I sound like an old fogey here, kids have it made. If the weatherman even whispers the phrase "wintry mix", the school board phone tree lights up.

"What should we do?"

"We know the kids will be fine, but what about us? I know I have 4-wheel drive, but am afraid to drive in weather like this."

"OK, we will delay school. Despite the fact that the roads will not be that bad and parents will still need to go to work on time, we will delay. But if the stepping stone in my garden is covered over with snow, I'm flat out cancelling."

I used to live up on a hill, where our road was one of the last hit by the salt truck. I only missed one day of work because of bad weather. The reason I missed, the snow plow piled the snow in front of the driveway. The drift was taller than me, which I know doesn't take much. It took us two-days to dig out. But as a child, my grandfather took us to school no matter what Mother Nature brought. On the rare occasion there was a two-hour delay, my sister and I would be at school at the normal start time. Funny thing, all of the kids who lived "out" were the ones who made it in at the regular start time on those days.

Wouldn't it be nice if other work places ran like a school district in regards to snow policies? If the roads are dangerous because of weather conditions, most of us are required to make it to work on time. If we do not, then we have to work through lunch or after hours to make up the time. We do not get paid for a full delay despite working an abbreviated schedule. I, for one, am fortunate. If the weather was too terrible, I could always work from home.

However, there are few people out there as lucky as me. For some, the two hour delay means missing a whole day's work because there is no one to watch the children for those two extra hours. Not all employers are as generous as mine.

I know that the local school boards will say it is for the safety of the children, but regarding cases like today, I seriously doubt that. Yes, few kids may need some extra time to get in b/c the ridges are a little colder and slightly slicker, but not two hours. School officials need to think about the decisions they are making when it comes to bad weather. Today there was no need to have a delay. Some parents had to call in resources to change their morning game plan that they may not be able to call upon the next time there is a serious need for a delay.

New Year! New You?

At the dawning of each new year, I make a New Year's Resolution. It is typically the same, to loose weight and exercise more, maybe the occasional get organized. I never really thought about it before until now, but I have no idea why I make these resolutions year in and year out.

Obviously, the resolutions are made so that I can improve upon who I am. A fresh year, a fresh start. However, I always seem to fail or get off track. But you know, that is OK because there is always next year. So On Dec. 31st, I make the list and start all over again. I know full well that though I want to make these changes, I will not put forth the full effort because deep down I know there is always next year. A new year is all about second chances, or third, fourth, 30th chances depending on the number of times you have made the same resolution.

A wonderful concept and all, but New Year's Resolutions are nothing more than preconceived failures. Each year I may have the intention to stick with the pledge I make to myself; however, I lack the conviction -- and so do most Americans considering the number of gym memberships that go unused before Valentine's Day even hits.

If we truly wanted to make changes in our lives for the better, than we would and not use the guise of a new year to be our safety net. I know I need to eat better and exercise more. So when I get off track a few months into the new year, why don't I get back on track. Rather, I him-haw around it and wait until December to think about implementing those changes again.

Do I feel bad because I did not accomplish what I set to do January? For the first few weeks of failure. But I realize it is OK, because most people do not stick to those resolutions. It has become acceptable behavior to not reach goals as long as they are tagged with New Year's Resolution. In this Prozac world, we could not live with the depression that comes from setting a goal and not accomplishing it. I mean, it is the failure that makes you feel bad, so to avoid the blame and shame of failure, we put our goals into this fail-safe concept of New Year's Resolutions, because as I have I stated, there is always next year. So, our fragile mental state will not be hurt because we do not fail when we have a back up plan.

If I really had the conviction to make those changes in my life, I would have done it already, despite what the day is. Though I will try like countless others to make a change for the good this brand new 2007, I know I will not succeed. But rather than wait until next year to try again, I will refocus and put forth effort some other day. June 18th feels like a good date.